


You're in my Dreams

by greenforsnow



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mutual Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Wet Dream, unclear timeline just in some timeline when they are actually allowed to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 07:19:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15724629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenforsnow/pseuds/greenforsnow
Summary: Steve wakes Bucky from a sex dream thinking it was a nightmare.





	You're in my Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Otherwise known as "whoops my hand slipped and I wrote self-indulgent smut for a fandom I am not really in"

Between the two of them, they had nightmares most nights. It took two weeks of Steve running in a panic into Bucky’s room every time he heard a noise— two weeks of Bucky busting through Steve’s unlocked door when the reverse happened— before either of them brought it up. They had to replace the door four times, since Bucky had a hard time remembering in his panic that the door was unlocked and there was no need to kick it off its hinges to get to Steve. After the fourth trip to the hardware store with the over-friendly attendant Steve suggested they sleep in the same room, “If that sales clerk asks why we need more hinges again, I am going to panic and say we are starting a door installation business,” he said, “Just move your bed in here, Buck. It’ll be like old times, eh?” He finished with a shoulder nudge and a small smile. 

Bucky responded with a small tight smile. “Yeah, alright.” He still couldn’t remember half of the “old times” Steve talked about. He wanted to be that for him, be the same Bucky as the one he talked about with so much pride and affection. He wanted to make the crease between Steve’s brow go away and effortlessly slip back into the people they were, but he knew it wasn’t going to happen. He also knew, that as much as he didn’t like to talk about it, Steve wasn’t the same person he was back then either. 

So Bucky moved his bed into Steve’s room, under the guise of saving the door, but in reality he was happy to do it. The sound of Steve’s steady breathing at night calmed him. He was there. He was safe. It helped Bucky remember other times— a smaller room and a smaller Steve, but another time when they only had each other. Unfortunately, other harsher memories were coming back too. They mostly came back in nightmares and as much as Bucky tried to stay awake, counting Steve’s steady breaths and piecing together segments of his life before all this, not even a super soldier could put off sleep forever. So he slept and nightmares came. The dreams were chaotic, strange pieces of the things they had made him do mixed in with bits of pieces of his life now. One minute in his dream he would be making pancakes in their kitchen and the next he was on the floor— still their floor— but now his hands were around the neck of thin man with black hair and he was watching the life drain from his eyes. Sometimes the dreams were of things they did to him. But no matter what he dreamed, Steve was there— waking him, pulling him up and leaning his shaking body against his own. His strong arms around him, his big hands in his hair. Over and over he said, “It’s okay Bucky. It’s okay. I’m here, you’re here with me.” Until Bucky stopped shaking and crying. He never asked Bucky to tell him the dreams, but sometimes he told him anyway. “I’m not a good person, Steve. I don’t deserve this…” he’d finish. 

“You’re the best person I know, Buck,” was always Steve’s response. 

“Well then, you gotta get out more,” he would respond just to see Steve grin back at him.

“You aren’t the things they made you do,” Steve would say firmly. There would be a fierce look in his eyes that made Bucky worry he was going to run off right then and try to burn what remained of Hydra to the ground right then.

“Yeah sure,” Bucky would say, still not believing it. Then Steve would stay curled up next to him on his bed. He had issues at first, sleeping with someone else so close, but he let him stay because he liked having him right there and even if he couldn’t sleep it felt good to see his friend next to him, his face relaxed and peaceful.

Of course, Steve had nightmares too. Bucky tried to comfort him the same way. Slipping into his bed and taking care not to let his metal arm touch the other man’s skin. He never really knew what to say— he didn’t believe that things were okay or even that he was there half the time— and he didn’t want to lie. “Hey, hey, wake up. You’re alive. I’m alive,” was what he settled on because it worked and it made Steve smile and he could be pretty sure both those statements were true most of the time. 

So it went on like that for months and Bucky did feel himself improving. Piecing together an identity that was different from who he was before, but still impacted by it. Their nightmares continued— they still had bad weeks, but the bad weeks were beginning to be further apart. 

Then Bucky had a different kind of dream entirely. He was in a tent and Steve was there with him— he could tell by his smell and the way his arms felt around him. But he wasn’t just holding him— his mouth was on his neck and his hands were undoing the buttons on his pants. Bucky woke up hard and with a moan. And Steve was behind him in a rough approximation of their positions in his dream. “It’s okay. Shh, Bucky, it’s okay,” he whispered into his hair.

Bucky cursed Steve’s hearing, hoping maybe he wouldn’t notice that he wasn’t shaking like normal or the fact that he still was clearly partially erect. He thought the embarrassment of Steve realizing what was happening would fix this problem for him, but the other man’s proximity was not helping. His hands were running down his arms just like they had in his dream and his breath was tickling his neck as he spoke. It was hot in their apartment and he had gone to sleep in his boxer-briefs and nothing else so his clothes would not do much to conceal anything. Bucky tried to grab his sheet to cover himself, but Steve was sitting on half of it and the other half had been kicked to the floor. He closed his eyes and tried to will the erection away. He was meant to have excellent control over his body; why wasn’t this working? 

“Bucky, you okay?” Steve asked. Bucky could felt his head turn and could feel his gaze on his body. This was it. “Oh. Oh shit. This was… a different kind of dream. Um—” Steve’s hand fell from the side of Bucky’s face, but stayed grasping his arm. “I’m sorry. I mean I’m sorry that I— I thought it was a nightmare. Not that it’s— I mean it’s perfectly natural you know. It’s a good thing that you’re— it happens to everyone, you know?”

“Yeah, I know all about the birds and the bees,” Bucky said. He noticed Steve’s heart rate increasing underneath him and the other man was still staring at him. He could feel the heat of his crotch against his lower back. 

He felt the other man swallow, “Right. I’ll, uh, I’ll just,” he dropped his grasp on Bucky and allowed him to shift so they were sitting next to each other on the bed. He swung one leg off the bed like he was going to leave, but then turned back to Bucky with a determined look in his eyes. “You, uh, you said my name—” he said.

“What?” Bucky shut his eyes, not wanting to look at him. In the moment before Steve spoke again he tried not to imagine all the worst case scenarios— Steve yelling at him to leave, Steve laughing, Steve leaving. 

“Before when you were dreaming— that’s what woke me up. I thought you were dreaming about— well— something else. I just want you to know that it’s—”

Bucky opened his eyes and sat up to look at the other man now he must have looked panicked, because Steve reached out an arm to grasp his shoulder. 

“No, just that— it’s okay. The world has changed a lot for the better. And people are better about that kind of stuff now, you know?”

Bucky nodded, “right,” he said, laying back down on the bed. This wasn’t as bad as it could be. Gentle acceptance and implied rejection. He could handle this. It may make things awkward for a bit, but they could get through that. And Bucky had an idea that he had lived with these unrequited feelings before. He could do it again. 

Steve sighed and lay back down on the bed. “It’s okay with me too. That you think about me like that. I mean, I know sometimes you dream about people you have no interest in. One time I dreamed—”

“Don’t be an idiot. It’s not like your dream about Mrs. Davis,” Bucky cut him off. He wasn’t looking at Steve, but he could hear him grin. “I— think about you like that when I’m awake too.” He was glad it was dark, because he could feel himself blushing in a way that he was sure was unbecoming. 

“Oh. Good,” Steve paused and let that linger between them. “You know,” he began after a moment, “it took me a long time to figure out what I felt when I saw you taking girls out back then. It was definitely jealousy. I wanted to be like you so badly. You were so charming and things came so easily for you. All you had to do was smile and people fell over themselves to get to you. But that wasn’t all. I— I was jealous of the girls too. They got to have you in this way that I— wanted for myself.”

Bucky swallowed thickly. He was cataloguing pieces memories now: dancing and going on dates. Pushing his dates’ friends at Steve and not understanding how they wouldn’t fall for him immediately. Kissing girls after Steve went home. Girls sucking him off while he— Oh. He laughed.

“What? Are you laughing? I’m over here trying to give you a heartfelt confession and you’re laughing, you jerk,” Steve grabbed the pillow from his own bed and flung it at Bucky. 

“Hey,” he said chucking the pillow back, “No, I just remembered. He— I— got in trouble you know. With,” He paused to try to recall the name of the girl, “Kathleen McMillan— for calling out your name instead of hers when she was going down on me.”

Steve let out a surprised laugh. “No! You know, I always wondered what happened between you two. Seemed like a rough break, but you wouldn’t talk about it.”

“Well you can see why now. I had to promise to tutor her younger brother just so she wouldn’t say anything. There were… a few others. I managed to convince Frances I said ‘Eve’, but then I had to take Eve out to make it convincing and I really didn’t like her.”

Steve was holding his stomach and laughing now. He took a deep breath. “I had no idea.”

“Yeah well, that was kind of the point. Didn’t think you— you were my best friend and I wasn’t gonna risk that even if I thought there was a chance.”

“And now?”

Bucky wasn’t entirely sure how to answer. He had not been expecting this. He knew how he felt about Steve. The current him as well as the old version. He had just been expecting to carry that by himself. It had seemed easy enough as long as he had Steve in his life. There were still voices shouting in his head that he didn’t deserve this, but the look on Steve’s face was so hopeful that he couldn’t turn him away now. “Well now… I’ve been through a hell of a lot more. You too. Might put things in perspective, ya know?”

“Yeah,” Steve’s smile faltered as he saw the look on Bucky’s face. “Look, I know this isn’t simple. Even if we both want it. We should go slow. Talk about it in the morning, yeah?”

Bucky nodded and Steve settled in like he was going to sleep. His knee was resting on Bucky’s legs and their arms were still pressed together. In light of their conversation the contact didn’t feel comforting like normal. He lay still for ten minutes, waiting for Steve’s breathing to slow and deepen, but apparently Steve was still awake as well. 

“You want to talk about the dream?” Steve asked in a low voice.

Bucky’s eyes shot open. “Oh, okay. Yeah,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“We were, uh, in a tent. An army tent like we were back in Germany, but you were curled up against me like it was cold. And you were whispering in my ear how bad you want me. God, you started kissing my neck, wet and sloppy, and then you were biting and sucking just below where my shirt collar would end. Telling me you wanted to leave a mark so I’d remember I was all yours. And I could only groan your name in response ‘cause it felt so good and I could feel you hard and pressed up behind me,” Bucky paused to take a breath and chance a look at Steve.

He could see his cock tenting his boxers. He was breathing fast and his eyes look slightly glazed. “Jesus Buck, I just meant— talk about what it meant not— but fuck, don’t just… Just keep going.”

“I pressed up against you and you bit down on my shoulder to hide your moan. You were so hard for me, god, and your hand was trailing down my arm and across my stomach, light enough to be teasing and christ your fingers dragged over my cock and fuck I knew I needed to be quiet because the other soldiers were just one tent away, but I wanted to scream at you to just get on with it because I wanted you so bad,” He looked back over at Steve. He was biting his lip and staring back at Bucky. His hand was grasping his own thigh so tightly Bucky was sure it had to hurt. even in the dark his whole body looked flushed. Bucky swallowed heavily. The site made his cock throb and he wanted to climb on top of the other man, kiss him, press into him. But he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that yet. Any kind of contact had been hard for him and that would definitely lead to some intense forms of contact. He clenched his jaw and instead said, “You can touch yourself, you know.” 

At that Steve groaned. “Shit Bucky, keep, keep going,” he growled and took his dick in his hand slowly pumping and and still staring at Bucky.

Bucky almost came at the sight alone, but slowly reached his right hand down to grasp his own erection. He matched Steve’s slow pace. Honestly, at this point in the dream he had already been woken, but who was he to deny Steve’s request. “God Steve, you were being such a fucking tease, taking me in your hand real slow, just like you’re doing to yourself right now. I could tell you wanted me to beg you for it, but I wasn’t going to give you that kind of satisfaction. Plus I could tell by the way you were rutting against me, you were likely to break before I did. God Steve you were biting my ear, making these desperate noises,” Bucky paused. He wanted to look at Steve but he knew he wouldn’t last much longer if he did. He wasn’t even sure where this was coming from. It was a combination of old fantasies and things he wanted Steve to do to him now. “Jesus Steve, your hand felt amazing. You knew just how to drive me crazy, ‘cause you knew every part of me, and I was getting close so close, but you dragged me on to my back. It was easy for you to do and you straddled me and leaned down to kiss me, finally. We pressed together and god you were so hot and hard on top of me. You spit in your hand and then started stroking us both. You were just whispering my name over and over and God you looked obscene just the sight of you like that almost put me over the edge. I was thrusting against you, damn well biting my own lip off trying not to cry out and—”

“Shit, Bucky,” Steve said from next to him. He looked over in time to see Steve come. It landed over his heaving chest. He was shining with sweat, mouth open, and head tossed back, but his blue eyes were locked on Bucky. That was enough to make him lose it too. 

“God Bucky,” Steve said his eyes not leaving him. “That was—” he trailed off with a small moan. Bucky chuckled, too relaxed and tired to do much else. His bed was a mess. 

Steve reached up and grabbed the tissues from the table between their beds. “Here,” he said slowly wiping Bucky’s cum off of his stomach and sheet.

“So,” Steve began, a slight hesitation in his tone, “That wasn't taking it slow…” 

“Hey pal, you were the one who asked me to describe my wet dream to you. With you lying next to me. In your underwear. I was just following orders. Can’t blame me for your dirty mouth,” Bucky said.

“Hah, my dirty mouth? You were the one who just talked us both to— well this,” he said gesturing. 

“Do you regret it?” Bucky asked, his expression suddenly serious. 

“What? No, Bucky, no. I just wish I had checked in with you a bit more to make sure it was okay, but no. That was— incredible,” Steve said quickly. “Come here.” He scooted closer to Bucky and nudged his arm under him, letting the other hand fall on his chest over his heart, his fingers tracing over where the metal fused with his body. “Is this okay?”

Bucky nodded. His body still felt warm and humming after the orgasm. The steady weight of Steve grounded him.

“We’ll talk in the morning, but yeah that was, wow. If I’d known I could have been doing that 70 years ago…”

Bucky chuckled and allowed himself to fall into peaceful sleep.


End file.
